I like lamps. This one is neat. Pic by me, Winter 2023
Hi. How are you? I hope you were able to say goodbye to November with whatever kind of emotion that was needed. It was a doozy for my family, with a number of challenging circumstances that don’t need any kind of dwelling-upon (or repeating, k Universe?). We made it through, we’re all healthy, and we’re as ready as we can be for whatever comes next.
One of the things November did do for me was to remind me of all of the reasons why self-care is so, so important. I even took ten minutes to jot down some notes that are the start of this post. And, because I’ve entered perimenopause in the last few months (which wasn’t really confirmed by my primary care provider, by the way - but that’s another story), these notes are from just over three weeks ago. Because in permimenopause (aka the time leading up to menopause, which can last anywhere from 4-10 years), cycles can vary greatly in length. What that means for my body these days is: my period starts, it lasts from 5-7 days, and 2 weeks later the whole cycle starts over again. Whoa.
The rest of this post is divided into two parts: self-care for people who have periods, and suggestions for the people who love (or simply care about) them. Before I jump in, here’s a reminder that my blog is always a safe space:
I promise to hold this safe space for anyone who is angry, sad, heartbroken, depressed, or anxious during this time of so many unknowns. I especially want to offer this virtual safe space for folks in marginalized communities: BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, disabled and anyone else I may have missed. Comments that do not honor this will be removed. Thank you.
The following suggestions are shared in the spirit of self-care, love and taking care of one another. I am not a doctor nor a health provider of any kind - simply someone who has been menstruating for nearly 30 years. If I had a daughter, I would share these ideas with her as she began this journey. I hope you or someone you care about might find them helpful. If you do, please pass them on.
Self-Care for Periods
Cocoon
Make extra (cozy) space for yourself, both in your home and in your life. You may discover that you crave or need more quiet during this time. You may need less movement, and this can look different for everyone, from cycle to cycle. Less exercise, no exercise, reducing errands to only the essentials (or leaning on a friend or family member to help you, if you can) - these are all ways to honor your body during this time.
You may want to create a physical cozy space in your home. Some things that might be helpful or especially nice to have here include: a heating pad, lavender oil (can be dabbed onto blankets, pillows or the insides of wrists), a soft or silky eye mask, headphones.
If you don’t already have a ‘resting practice,’ consider creating one for this time to support adopting a slower pace. 10 minutes a day can be a nice place to start. If you work or attend school outside of your home, maybe you want to ‘cocoon’ as soon as you get home. Grab some hot water with lemon, or hot tea, snuggle into your space, and just be for a few minutes. If it’s noisy, try headphones if you have them, or just some gentle music at a low volume. If you live with others, let them know this time is essential for you and that you will be with them once you’ve taken some time for yourself. It may take a few months, but hopefully they will begin to understand (and maybe even ask if they can brew your tea).
My new ritual: brewing a cuppa and sitting down for 10 minutes before I pick up our toddler.
Balance nourishing food with junky cravings
I ate a bunch of Doritos yesterday, and they were delicious. You probably have cravings of your own. In my opinion, it’s fine to indulge a little, and when you have a little more energy or stamina (maybe on day 3 or 4 of your cycle), bring your diet back into balance with healthier choices.
I saw my acupuncturist recently, and she recommended LOTS of protein during periods. Fiber is excellent as well, so think lots of fruits and vegetables. Drink as much water as you can - maybe hot water with honey and lemon, this time of year (in the Northern Hemisphere). Herbal tea can be a nice way to stay hydrated, too. Ayurveda, the “sister science” to yoga, recommends avoiding ice in beverages - it’s simply too hard on our digestive “fire.” If hot water isn’t your thing, just try room temperature water instead.
If you go to bed one night and think, “geez, I didn’t exercise at all today and I didn’t eat very well, either,” that’s OK for one day. Your body is doing an incredibly amazing thing each month - give yourself a break, and then re-commit to healthy habits when you’re able.Modify your yoga practice
Skip standing postures - these require a lot of energy, which you want to conserve. Stick to seated or reclining poses. Avoid inversions, like plough pose, headstand or handstand. Go easy on downward dog, as this is technically an inversion. Save bridge pose for after your cycle, too. Spending “too much” time in an inversion will prolong your cycle (no thanks!!!), so it’s best to just set them aside until your period ends.
Twists can sometimes help with uncomfortable cramps, so consider giving them a try (seated or lying down both work here). Reclined butterfly pose (lying on your back with your feet drawn together and your knees relaxing towards the floor) can be nice, especially with a blanket over you.If you practice yoga at all during this time, focus on your breath, honoring your body and connecting with Mother Earth. Towards the end of your cycle, you could slowly start to introduce standing poses, and even consider using yoga blocks or the wall to support you. Example: placing a block beneath the hand in triangle pose.
If you’ve never done yoga, no worries! Starting during your cycle might be a really nice introduction. Note that this might not be the best time to follow along with yoga videos, as many of them tend to be fast-paced and do not take into account the things I mentioned above. You could try to search for “yoga during menstruation” or “yoga moon cycle” and see what pops up. Gentle and easy is the vibe you want here.
Now part two as promised, for the other half of the population. Dads, brothers, uncles, husbands, partners, friends, co-workers, doctors, nurses - anyone who loves or cares for the rest of us, who have monthly cycles: here are a few ideas for you.
1. Encourage our rest
Consider if there might be anything you could take off our plate. Chores, errands, cooking, and the like. Holiday preparations. Childcare. Administrative things for home or work. Vacation planning. Cleaning. Caregiving responsibilities. Meetings that may be able to be postponed (or canclled).
Consider one or two things you could do for someone this month that might help them out, even just a little. Especially if a person who menstruates says anything about cramps, bloating, headache, trouble concentrating, overwhelm or fatigue. Ponder if you might be able to simply do something for them and then let them know afterwards that it’s taken care of. Take on an extra task or two, and allow the person you care about a little more time to rest.2. Plan and make a meal
This one is pretty personal, but I don’t think it’s limited to family members. If you’re already cooking, why not make a little more and share it with someone who is low on energy this week? Ask if they have any dietary restrictions, and let them know you’re cooking up something special. Food is such a beautiful gift, especially when it’s shared.
3. Be understanding if we cancel or postpone plans
This one feels pretty obvious, but I’m still going to include it. Sometimes when I have my period, I don’t want to talk to anyone - literally anyone. I love my family and I adore talking to them, but beyond that, I sometimes wish I lived in the 1800s when people communicated via the postal service. If you have a loved one, friend or colleague who seems to disappear from time to time, or seems a little “spiky” when you talk to them - don’t take it personally, and consider giving them space for a day or two. If someone bails on your event, reach out to them a few days after and let them know you care about them.
Thank you for taking the time to read these suggestions, whether you’re someone who has periods, or are someone who cares about those of us who do. One final thing to share, that I think is absolutely incredible:
Minnesota OK’d free menstrual products in schools, but that hasn’t solved the problem (MPR News)
As the article states, this is an excellent start to supporting all students to be successful at school, and is very much a work in progress. One of the most important points in the article is:
“For schools stocking products…variety and choice is key. “Not every product is going to work for every person.”
This means having a variety of menstrual products is best, for every school in every district. If you are connected to someone who attends public school and might use these products, be open to conversations about it. Encourage them to speak up however they are most comfortable - maybe by talking to a teacher, sharing with a student council representative, or writing a letter to the school board. Let them know you support them and care about them while they are at school. They’ll be very grateful you did.
Peace,
Nikki
This post is offered free of charge in the spirit of sharing information, community and support.
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cheers to writing about periods!! loved this!