Fueling the Resistance with soup & LOVE

plus, self-care I'm engaging in this week

Homemade minestrone - food for the belly and soul (recipe link at the bottom of this post)

Yesterday, my therapy was cooking soup from scratch.

Today, it’s writing.

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First of all,

I need to say that this blog, my little corner of the internet, is a safe space. I promise to hold this safe space for anyone who is angry, sad, heartbroken, depressed, or anxious, especially as a result of the U.S. election this week. I especially want to offer this virtual safe space for folks in marginalized communities: BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, disabled and anyone else I have missed.

In a moment, I’ll be sharing some things I’ve been doing for self-care, but for anyone who read that paragraph and feels angry, defensive, or any other intense emotion, an invitation: ask yourself why. If nothing comes to you but the emotion, sit with it. Wait. Ask yourself again. Don’t ignore those feelings - there is more underneath.

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As promised, here are a few things I’ve been doing this week and will continue to do. I’ve been committed to self-care and self-compassion for a while, and I’m bringing these actions here as possibilities for you. I’m also always, always interested in hearing what sorts of things you’ve been doing to tend to your body, mind and spirit. Anything is fair game to share here, as long as it is: 1) kind 2) not racist or sexist, and 3) offered in the spirit of peace and support. Any comment that violates these guidelines will be deleted.

I imagine a lot of folks are creating some pretty intense boundaries right now, which I support and am interested in hearing about - in alignment with the guidelines I’ve just provided.

Thanks to my bestie, Kari, for sending this — I’ve only just begun to dig in.

1. Taking excellent care of myself

I had a massage scheduled yesterday (Wednesday, November 6th), and though I first went to the wrong location - I still made it. My level of privilege allows me to make regular bodywork a priority, which I acknowledge. I am 42 years old and raising two boys under 5, which is very demanding on my body. At the end of the massage, my new therapist (a godsend) thanked me for taking care of myself. This was SO good to hear, and I’ll be telling people this on the regular now. I’ll even tell you in advance of whatever your next self-care step may be: Thank you for taking excellent care of yourself. We need you.

We can only take care of the collective if we are healthy, nourished and balanced. Feel free to share any steps you have been taking (baby steps count) to look after your body, mind and spirit this week.

2. Leaning into my spiritual practices

Here’s a few examples of what this looks like for me (it will be different for you): I am meditating daily - six minutes of silence is my commitment for 2024. Sounds easy, but it’s challenging (and rewarding) enough that it will remain my commitment into 2025.

I am resting. Yes, resting is a spiritual practice. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, we are not robots (and even robots need to be charged). The journey of equality, justice, and safety for all of us is a very long one. We need to pace ourselves.

Here are some ways I rest: I lie down or put my feet up. I leave my phone downstairs when I go to bed. I go to bed early. I sit out a social event I had previously hoped to attend. I don’t respond to texts, voicemails or emails ‘immediately’ (or even within the “normal” amount of time). These are a few of my ideas - how do you rest? Or, if you haven’t been - how will you?

Singing is also another of my favorite spiritual practices. Yesterday, I sang along with two songs friends shared on social media. During the first song, I cried. During the second one, I could feel my emotion and power rising up inside of me. I channeled it into my voice. Maybe this is something that would support you right now, too.

As a member of the sandwich generation (yup, still here), sometimes I only get 5 minutes of rest

3. Reaching out out to my community

I am very, very fortunate in this respect. Not only do I have beautiful friendships sustained over decades, I also have new friends. I have colleagues. I have yoga sisters. I have spiritual sisters. I have my church family. I have my bandmates. All in addition to my own families. I am so, so lucky.

I hope you have some community you can reach out to when you’re having a rough time. If your mental health is struggling and you need someone to talk to, try the Walk-In Counseling Center. They are based in Minneapolis (24th and Chicago Ave.) and offer free and anonymous mental health services. You can login online for free three afternoons and three evenings a week - visit the link above for details and hours.

4. Limiting my media intake

I don’t watch the news, and I read it very little. I need to do a better job of managing my social media use, but most of us have at least one unhealthy coping mechanism and currently, that is mine. I am dedicated to staying present on social media (especially Facebook, as I feel it can be useful for organizing) while also being more mindful about what I’m clicking and reading. Please share any tips you have about your own challenges or suggestions in the comments - your insights are needed!

Another gift from my bestie - she’s a keeper. This bracelet helps anchor me into the now.

5. Digging into my work and vocation

I’m especially energized about my work around mindful leadership, spiritual direction and music. It feels positive and proactive to be serving in ways that are meaningful to me, while connecting with something much bigger than myself.

Do you have any work (caregiving counts) or volunteering that is filling your cup this week? If not, that’s OK. Come back to this question after you’ve taken ample time to rest and grieve.

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That’s all I have for now. I hope to be back within two weeks - here’s a quick family and personal update from me (including a prayer request).

My dad, Alex, had a very serious fall at my parents’ home last weekend and injured his head (over his left eye). We’re so grateful it wasn’t due to another stroke, but his road to recovery is still long. He is being transferred to a rehab facility near my parents’ home today (Thursday, November 7th), which is very good news. Please consider praying for his recovery, and for my mom, Ann, who is his primary caregiver. Thank you.

Personally, we’ve been navigating the time change into fall in our house with quite a few meltdowns before dinner. It’s a lot. I’ve also discovered that I’ve been experiencing symptoms of perimenopause this year, and am educating myself about it as well as assembling my “wellness team” of care practitioners. I’ve started to read “The New Menopause,” and have “Hot and Bothered” on my to-read list (thank you Amy and Liz for the suggestions). Everything all at once - this is the new normal.

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This post is offered free of charge. Please share with anyone in your network who might benefit from the suggestions, safe space or community offered.

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As promised, here is the recipe for Minestrone Soup, and with that I’ll say goodbye for now. Thank you for reading, friends. We’re all in this together.

In peace and love,

Nikki